In what might be the most Kenyan version of patriotism we’ve seen this year, controversial Kenyan adult film actress Alicia Kanini has confessed that she doesn’t have the kind of pesa za kuflash millions like the corporate sponsors. But Alicia, being Alicia, is not about to sit there and clap politely. No, madam has pulled a move so wild that even Harambee Stars’ goalkeeper might drop the ball on purpose.
Speaking with her signature unfiltered flair, Alicia said, “Sina hiyo dough ya kutoa millions kwa players, but si patriotism ni about giving what you have?” And with that, she announced she’ll be offering two exclusive, one-on-one private experience sessions to each Harambee Stars player plus the entire technical bench, but only if they beat Madagascar this Friday.
For clarity, Alicia insists these are not your normal handshake and photo op kind of experiences. “Hii ni ile proper VIP kama Netflix special; unapata episode mbili straight!” She joked, winking in a way that could probably cause a VAR review.
Social media immediately went into overdrive, with some fans shouting, “Stars wakishinda, tumekua mashujaa na ma player wamepata hero’s welcome!” while others warned the players not to “overtrain” before the match.
Meanwhile, sources close to the team report that training sessions have suddenly become extra intense, with strikers running like they’re being chased by KRA and defenders tackling like they’re saving rent money. Even the coach was overheard telling players, “Boys, for country, and maybe for Kanini!”
If Harambee Stars pull off a win, forget champagne showers; this might be the most motivated squad in Kenyan football history.
